Stay Just A Little
by MD14
Summary: "If you're watching this, something happened to me. And it was probably at work. Well it was, because if it were a long illness, I'd have pulled some 'P.S. I Love You' crap."


**A/N: Drew inspiration for this from Bones.**

**Also, first time ever writing fic in first person... it was weird. But I think it was the only way to go.**

* * *

A small tear drop falls from my eye, and hits my wrist and the remote that's clutched in my grasp. They've been threatening to break over the ridge of my eyelid since last night, and so far, only this one has escaped. I'm doing pretty well then, I guess.

I've been contemplating whether or not I should hit play for a while. If I do, it's defeat. If I do, last night really happened, and the rest of us are still in limbo. Maybe her too.

If I do, what is there to hold onto after?

She would want me to see this.

But I can't bring myself to do it.

And yet, my thumb puts a little more pressure on the button, and the video begins playing.

* * *

She shot it in the living room, I guess. She's not in the frame yet, but yeah, that's the couch I'm sitting on right now. We only have the camcorder that she had from college, so, yeah, I'm watching a VHS right now. Old school.

She said that all the time. She could be talking about a thing that happened two years ago and call it old school. She was quirky that way.

Is quirky that way.

"It's on, okay, it's on." She chants, rearranging some of the couch cushions, fidgeting like she always did. Does.

"Hey baby." She says softly, tugging at the sleeves of an old academy sweatshirt. Whose, nobody really knows anymore, they've all become general property of the household. "Hi."

She didn't plan what she was going to say, I can tell. She may have been, _be_, a planner but how do you plan this?

"If you're watching this, I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry that this is happening. I _know_ it's hard." She looks like she was trying to keep it together. Like she was sitting here in my place, knowing what this felt like, but she didn't.

"Beth, I love you. So, so much. You and Dad, are my life. And if this was one of you I wouldn't know what to do with myself." She laughs in exasperation. Mom always was too empathetic for her own good, I guess. "If you're watching this, something happened to me. And it was probably at work. Well it was, because if it were a long illness, I'd have pulled some 'P.S. I Love You' crap."

Mom smiles, and I smile back at her. It's so hard not to.

"But if you're dad sleeps with any of my old friends from Ireland, I'll haunt his ass." She takes the time to pull a serious face, before shaking it off with more uneasy laughter. "I'm just kidding sweetheart. I don't have any friends in Ireland..."

I'm laughing now, along with her. Getting lost in this tape would be so easy, but there are three minutes left. She only took four minutes, to tell me goodbye...

"Beth, I'm not here to impart some bomb about me not having been your biological mother, or that we were hiding you from birth from somebody who's bound to come after you because you're some billionaires experiment. Unfortunately, you're a normal teenage girl, who has a nut for a mother."

I smile as I notice Dad walk through the back of the video, stare at the back of mom's head, and then hide around the corner, still watching though.

Dad was such a stalker-y nut for mom. Always keeping a trained eye on her.

I think sometime in the last eighteen years it became second nature, and he doesn't even notice he's doing it anymore. My friends have used the words 'romantic', 'sweet', 'protective'. I say 'stalker-y', 'creepy' and 'possessive'.

But, yeah, I guess as an outside party, I can see it.

Dad probably just ruined it all for me when he used the 'and then we used that love to make you' line when describing the birds and the bees when I was nine. He didn't know mom already covered it. Once he finally got the nerve to spit out what he'd been rambling on about, I didn't have the heart to stop him.

But yeah, now he's got a hand over his mouth, watching mom from the back of the room, while she sits there tear-y eyed and oblivious.

"I'm not going to ask you to take care of your father for me. He's a grown man, he's been taking care of us for a very long time... but keep an eye on him. Please. Don't let him become a shut in." She rambles, clearly letting herself jump from worry to worry. "I don't want him to forget that there's a world going on out there, and that he'd be better off joining it rather than watching it go by."

Mom looks truly heartbroken, up there, on the screen where my childhood movies were watched. Her red rimmed eyes are now leaking of their own accord, and Dad is still standing back there, hand over mouth, hiding basically any chance I had of guessing what he was feeling. His eyebrows are the only tell I have left, and they're pretty close together, concerned. From this expression, I can tell his jaw is set. His eyes are beginning to give him away.

"Come home every once in a while after you start college. Make sure you let Oliver drag him to the Penny after work sometimes.

I mean, it's just like we've told you, over and over again. You've got to-"

"Have your partners back." I say with her.

I've still got that big smile on my face, but my cheeks are completely soaked now. Completely.

I gave up thirty seconds ago when she began telling me that Dad might try and fall apart without her. She's right, he will. Even with these instructions, we both know...

So maybe I don't have to be a third party, but when they're _your_ parents - it's just weird to think of them as romantic. But I guess they kind of are.

"That's right sweetie." Mom says, knowing that I was going to be saying it in time. If there was a ever a line that was constantly being set up for saying, it was that one.

"You know what, I was wrong. I do have a little secret for you. I've made one of these, every year since you were born."

This kind of causes my heart to stop.

Knowing how long she's anticipated...

Knowing that there are sixteen years worth of goodbyes somewhere in this house.

All I know is that I need to find them, now.

"Your father thinks they're stupid. And that you won't get anything from these but a painful reminder... but I really hope he's wrong. I think there's a part of you that's going to need this. The very small part of you that's more like me. Not that you'll ever admit it though." She mutters, smiling again.

My mother, a complete fool, planner, lunatic, lion heart, super mom. The best woman I know.

The tears that were crawling down my cheeks are now dropping heavily onto my lap where my hands are joined, still clutching that remote.

"I have to go now, baby, or else I'll never turn this thing off. Start with video number one. I personally think it was the best one, but, I hardly knew you then. This is more our style, but that one... there's something about the way I wondered who you'd be that made me speak more from the heart than anything. So, start there." She instructs seriously.

I notice that in the background, dad is coming closer, ready to embrace her when she's finished, and ready to fall apart.

"I love you."

And then the screen goes black.

I love you too, Mom.

* * *

I stare at the fuzzy screen for God knows how long before I hear Dad come down the stairs, keys jingling in his hand. I should probably jump up and hide the evidence that I found, but I'm still immobile. I still can't feel my legs, let alone trust them to carry me.

"Beth!" He calls out, first heading towards the kitchen to look for me.

I wait until I can hear his feet coming closer to me before I speak up, hoping my voice doesn't betray me.

"Yeah?" I call back. Seems like everything is normal, to me.

He's in the doorway before I can stand and turn, and his sudden presence nearly takes me off my feet.

"You okay monkey?" He asks, eyebrows creasing as he studies my face and general appearance. Damn detective.

"Yeah." I answer, as if there were no other way to feel. Duh Dad, obviously I'm fine.

"Okay, well, visiting hours will be over soon, and I just got off the phone with Grandpa. He says mom's doctor has some news." He says, showing the first signs of positivity I've seen out of him since before mom's accident. "Good news."

Dad is biting back a smile like he's trying so hard not to get his hopes up, but his dimples are digging into his cheeks, just a little bit. Mine are probably mirroring his.

Maybe those videos will keep a little longer than. But still...

I love you, Mom.


End file.
